Jane watiri was born and brought up in Huruma in a family of six (3 boys and 3 girls) being the third born. I was baptizes at an early age and brought up in church as my mother was born-again choir member.
I joined primary school at the age of nine I had joined a company of miraa chewers and bhang smokers and for sure, bad company corrupt good character. I dropped out in class five at the age fifteen life changed and the good mummy’s girl became the most stubborn of the family. My mum was stressed in life and left church for local brews.
I so much troubled and pressurized my family that none wanted to be associated with me. They all felt betrayed and as they set me apart, hatred grew in my heart. Taking gum and marijuana, I moved from clubs to another in search for what I thought was life and in 1996, I was arrested for loitering. Nobody dared to save me from prison for even my mum felt that this was a part of my discipline. I was jailed for five months. Prison life was hell. I, however, survived with one to visit or encourage me.
From prison, I got married to one ndungu not a real name, and there felt that life has finally given me love. I swore to live my life of cruelty and misconduct and promised myself that I must change. We were blessed with a baby boy and this gave us the joy of marriage. He was the bread winner. He was loving and kind and for the first time, life gained meaning.
But little did I know that this was only short living. He went away with the woman who was his boss, over fifteen years his senior. I was feeling that something wrong was happening and their relationship was getting beyond a boss and employee but since I had no proved, I kept the feeling unobtrusive. But my fears were confirmed when he started spending nights out, adding to days and finally one day packed and he left for good. Tears rolled down my cheeks and life again took and about-turn.my burning question though never knew the lord, was why lord?
Frustration and desperation hit me hard. Death became a choice but the means to it was the hardest debate. I faced the cruelty of life again as I was to feed my little boy. I was approached by a neighbor who survived from koinange street, I was in the verge of decision; suicide gave me pain as I loved my son and wouldn’t imagine living him to suffer as an orphan. I opted for Koinange Street as my only means for survival by then. It wasn’t by choice; life demanded.
Four years in Koinange Street wasn’t easy at all. It was a life misuse wasn’t easy at all. It was life of misuse-yes-misuse by men, pain and agony of fake love. Some nights I would cry, but life demanded that I be strong. Men got their comfort and went to their wives living me dirty cash and feeling of being guilty. They never loved; they never cared. The only looked for a refuge to cure themselves from their stressful marriage and others from their lust and dirty thought; but none was there for love.
Many of friends died as I watched; some from HIV/AIDS, others were poisoned by their fellow mates because of men and others thought witchcraft. It was survival for the canniest. As I waited near pub one day a man passed by and approached to where I was. He said he was preacher and one thing he told me was that Jesus loved me. I questioned how Jesus would love such a person like me. I never agued but decided within myself that I would get saved only when I get a husband.
My prayers were finally answered but the man I got for a husband unknown to me was a most wanted gangster. I introduced him to parents and after a short while, I was pregnant for him. In that state of my pregnancy, he was arrested, accused and jailed. I couldn’t understand I joined my mum in kayole for I had vowed never to go back to the street, and this time round, she encouraged me to search for the right way. I received Christ in 2006 but fell back after my husband was realized. The voice of the preacher kept loud in my mind that Jesus loved me. I also remembered my vow to get saved only after getting a husband, but the decision was not that easy. I hated myself for all I took myself into.
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